Meet The Parents
by TheWarriorQueen
Summary: Always the hardest part of dating is meeting the parents. Whole movies have been dedicated to just that. Scorpius and Rose discover why... Written for JesseCPK. Oneshot. Complete.


**Always the hardest part of dating is meeting the parents. Whole movies have been dedicated to just that. Scorpius and Rose discover why... Written for JesseCPK.**

**Disclaimer: ~sniff~ I do not own ~sniff~ the Potterverse ~sniff~ or any of its characters ~sniff~.**

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Rose Weasley drew in a shaky breath, counted to ten, and released it. Beside her, her boyfriend, Scorpius Malfoy, bit his lip, then squared his shoulders, allowing his carefully practised Malfoy Mask™ to drop into place. The only sign of nervousness he betrayed was the quickly building sweat on his palm as he clutched the brunette's hand like a lifeline, staring up at the forbidding house before him, wondering what horror awaited them inside.

She fumbled in her pocket momentarily before producing a key to the oaken door in front of her. Her hands were shaking too nervously to fit it into the lock, and she eventually admitted defeat and slipped the key back into her pocket, producing instead her wand. Her voice steady, as was essential when casting spells, she incanted, "Alohomora!"

The door swung open with an ominous creak, the hallway dark, and the street outside deserted. Her grip on his hand tightened like a vice. From inside the house, laughter echoed. They gulped simultaneously. "You would think having been Al Potter's best friend for six years would have made me a bit braver, hey, Rosie?" joked Scorpius, trying to break the tension. It fell flat, and his forced chuckle sounded eerie, even to his own ears.

"Scorp, facing this would terrify anyone. Come on, maybe it'll be mercifully swift," she muttered, stepping over the threshold, pulling her reluctant boyfriend behind her. As soon as he crossed into the house, a breeze slammed the door shut again, a hollow thud of doom. The laughter stopped abruptly. Rose began to speed up her footsteps, dragging Scorpius towards the flickering light emanating from the doorway at the end of the hall.

As she reached the doorway, she stopped abruptly, Scorpius just out of sight of the occupants of the room. "Hi, Dad!" she began cheerily.

"Back from your date so soon?" asked a voice that Scorpius identified as belonging to none other than Ronald Weasley. His knees appeared to have a mind of their own, as they began to knock together viciously.

"Yeah, I thought you should actually meet my mystery boyfriend. May I introduce the one and only…" she tugged Scorpius into view "Scorp Malfoy!"

The last thing Scorpius heard before he passed out from sheer nerves was, "Bloody hell!"

When he came to, he was lying on a plush couch in the Weasley lounge. He opened his eyes, only to see the scowling visage of his girlfriend's father looming over him. His survival instinct told him that a Gryffindor wouldn't attack someone who was already down, and so he judiciously returned to his faint.

He came to again an indeterminate amount of time later, facing the same scowl as before. Unfortunately, he did not seem likely to be able to return to blissful unconsciousness anytime soon, and so he steeled himself and sat up. The thunderous face above him remained as intractable. "Hello, sir," he tried.

"What do you mean by that?" snapped the man glaring down at him.

Scorpius felt what little colour he had in his face draining as the Malfoy Mask™ cracked. "N-nothing. Just a greeting, Mr Weasley."

Rose piped up, "Daddy, what else could he mean? Not everything has to be a double-entendre you know! Now be nice, please..."

A new person entered the room, clattering into everything as he went. "Bloody hell, Rose, what's _he _doing here?"

"_He_ is my boyfriend, Hugo," Rose replied icily. Scorpius was impressed by how stern the lively Hufflepuff could sound. Suddenly he found himself being hoisted into the air by his collar.

"What do you think you're playing at? If you hurt my sister…" Each word was punctuated by a vicious shake. Over the jarring of his teeth, Scorpius heard the distinctive steam-engine shriek of an enraged Rose. A swift right hook invaded his field of view, and knocked the redhead in front of him away.

Another stern female voice entered the fray. "Ronald Bilius Weasley, I leave you alone for ten minutes and the house becomes a war zone! Rose Alice Weasley, stop beating up your brother! Hugo Colin Weasley- oh, he's been knocked out. Ennervate! Hugo Colin Weasley, what did you do to make Rose so angry?"

"Sorry, Mione…"

"Sorry, Mum…"

"Mum, I'm innocent! It's _his _fault, the stinking Slytherin."

"Er, sorry, Mrs Weasley. It is my fault, somewhat. You see, I'm dating Rose."

Scorpius found himself again being hoisted up, this time to be hugged firmly. "Well, that's wonderful, Scorp – may I call you Scorp? That's what I've heard you called."

"How can you be okay with this, Mum?" wailed Hugo, dabbing at his split lip. "He's a Slytherin!"

The blond suddenly understood why Rose had told him never to cross her mother. The look on her face was enough to terrify a Hippogriff. "He has visited your cousins almost every holiday. Al trusts him. If I knew nothing else about him, that would be enough. You know how few people Al trusts nowadays. But I have also heard many good things about him from Rose in her letters home, and although I've never spoken much to him, as he seems to avoid your father, I have seen enough to know he is a good boy."

"Thanks, Mum," grinned Rose, jumping up and wrapping her arms around Scorpius.

Hermione Granger-Weasley smiled. "Alright, Rose. Now, you and Scorp go get yourself some coffee. I'm going to speak to these two. And Rose? We will be discussing your behaviour tomorrow. No matter how much you may think he deserves it, you do not hit your brother."

Needing no further prompting, Rose grabbed Scorp's hand and they bolted from the room. As the door closed behind them, they heard a rant beginning, involving "emotional range of a teaspoon" and "ridiculous prejudice."

Once in the kitchen, Scorp kissed Rose possessively. "No matter the outcome of your family's discussion tonight, or my family's reaction tomorrow, you're mine."

"Yours," she agreed, pulling him down for another kiss.

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**Yay! Even got a snog in at the end.**

**TheWarriorQueen**


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